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02 September 2006 @ 12:03 am
The Fic List  
BreeGirls Table of Contents

The good...the bad...the ugly. Well, maybe not ugly. Here's a list of every fic ever written by the BreeGirls, as well as a summary, and a few words of commentary.

Part I: The Infamous Series

1. The Fellowship In Our School (February 2002)
The very first tale in the BreeGirls series. The Fellowship comes to Kristin's school, and she takes them on a crazy adventure to meet all of her friends. Aragorn has heard word of a naked picture in De's locker, and Sam has a disturbing experience in a hall closet. And, of course, the bra-on-the-table incident.

De Says: This story is special since it was the very first one; I don't think I expected to ever write another one like it, let alone a bunch more. It was the start of something fabulous. And I really did have a naked Aragorn in my locker.

Jess Says: I like this fic since it's a typical topic (The Fellowship in your school - oh really?) turned into something a little bit more special. I'll always keep it close to heart.

2. A Crackhead Mordor Adventure (February 2002)
In the previous story, Kristin promises Legolas that she will never write any more slash, but when she breaks her promise, she is sent to Mordor to be tortured. De and the rest of the gang have to rescue her. However, we soon learn that the Orcs are not nearly as scary as they were rumored to be; all they want is to star in a slash of their own! And Sauron rocks some odd foot attire. After escaping from the evil clutches of Sauron, the fab four travel to Rivendell. Legolas finds a suitable lover, De learns that three is not always a crowd, and Kristin runs into trouble with a certain erotic book.

De Says: Once you experience Elf torture, you're never the same.

Jess Says: This is definitely one of my favorite fics. It's classic, and it's the only fic with a sequel! I also like how it's our only fic with a typo in the original title. ;)

3. A Crackheaded Return to Mordor (February 2002)
Once again, the BreeGirls gang finds themselves in Mordor. This time, Sauron has managed to capture all of the Fellowship, with the exception of Sam. The girls travel through time and space to Middle-earth to rescue them. The Orcs are furious with De for not writing them a love story, (all right, a SMUT story), and Sauron tries to force Kristin to become his bride.

De Says: This might be my favorite one ever. HONEY BUNCHES OF OATS!?!? That line will go down in history.

Jess Says: I second De on this. I'm convinced I'll say those four words on my death-bed. It'll be wonderfully out of context.

4. Spring Break With The Fellowship (March 2002)
The girls are in the middle of a huge fight because De has ditched her friends for the blonde bimbos of high school. However, they all wind up at the same resort for Spring Break... and who should happen to drop in at the same time? The Fellowship, of course! Pippin discovers marijuana for the first time, and the rest of the guys learn what a strip club is. But will the friendships ever get mended?

De Says: It was fun to write about this bitchy version of myself. Kristin and I laughed about it, saying that we'd never ever really have a fight. Ah, little did we know. And for the record, I really have no interest in hobbits.

Jess Says: What's Spring Break without the Fellowship? Especially in Daytona? We really did drag the poor Fellowship through everything.

5. The Fellowship Comes To Prom (March 2002)
It's prom season! De has a date with a rockstar and Jess is going with the most popular boy in school. Kristin refuses to attend anything as lame as a high school prom, but after being talked into going (and finding the perfect dress), she's singing a different tune. The plot thickens when the Fellowship shows up, clad in multi-colored tuxes.

De Says: When we wrote this, it was pre-prom season at my high school, and when I actually went to my prom, I wished so much that the Fellowship would just randomly appear. That would have made it so much better.

Jess Says: I've had the Matrix ensemble, as well as the Star Wars cast, show up at my high school proms. Why couldn't the Fellowship have dropped by instead? :(

6. The Fellowship At Camp Walla-Walla (March 2002)
Summer is here, and De and Kristin are counselors at a sleep-away camp together. Kristin has the hots for a male co-worker and De hopes to rekindle a past summer fling with another boy, but their breezy crushes are soon forgotten when the Fellowship shows up for more crazy excitement. A few punches are thrown, and there is an unfortunate incident between two brothers and Gollum in the ball shed. And Legolas is disappointed that Jess is nowhere to be found, but is shocked when he hears why she decided to stay home this summer....

De Says: No, maybe this one is my favorite. Kristin: "She's got a bun in the oven." Legolas: "I didn't know she could cook!"

Jess Says: I loved this fic. God, and that threesome will never get old.

7. The Fellowship Home For Christmas (March 2002)
Everyone is back from their first year of college, and home for the holidays. The Fellowship pays a visit for a snowball-throwing, Christmas-tree-decorating, presents-opening, Dunedain-licking, and pint-drinking good time! However, things are getting serious for the gang. Jess has a half-Elven child and De is contemplating leaving Earth for good.

De Says: This one is exciting because it has Ian's first BreeGirls appearance. I remember asking him for random trivia questions to put in the strip club scene; he was so excited that he finally got included in one of the stories.

Jess Says: I can't believe it took us this long to introduce Ian as a character! "Let us go to this Vegas," Legolas and I finally get hitched! It's definitely one of my favorite BreeGirls moments.

8. A Crackhead Gondor Wedding (March 2002)
De and Aragorn are getting married in Gondor! The rest of the gang visits Middle Earth to participate in this insane event. Hilarity is sure to ensue, what with the brothers and all the Hobbit-fanciers lurking around. Jess and Legolas have already gotten hitched in Vegas, and Lily seems pretty cozy with Gimli, but is Kristin destined to become a pervy spinster?

De Says: Or, maybe this one is my favorite. I really enjoyed writing some of these scenes, and I imagine that in real life, I'd be just as spastic and crazy about my wedding as I was in this story.

Jess Says: Finally, a wedding! And note to self: never speak Elvish to a hobbit.

9. A Crazy Shire Wedding (April 2002)
Finally, it's Kristin's turn to walk down the aisle! She and Pippin are getting married in The Shire, and everyone is coming to witness. Frodo learns some striptease moves, and a certain she-Elf pays a visit. All is well in the lovely green land until a certain blast from the past arrives to put a stop to this wedding....

De Says: This was the last completed story we wrote. I have to say, we had a good run. And Sauron's cameo appearance was something that Kristin and I were planning for the longest time ever; I felt honored to finally write it.

Jess Says: This fic contains my very favorite line. It's become the bane of my existence. "He already has nicer hair than I do; does he have to beat me out at limbo too?!"

Part II: Unfinished Tales
After the wedding stories, Kristin and De attempted to write many different collabs that never made it past the drawing board. Nevertheless, here they are.

10. When Fiction And Reality Meet (April 2002)
Gandalf screws up again, and ends up bringing characters from Kristin & De's solo stories to Earth. Oh, no!

De Says: This was a really cool idea that Kristin and I both thought up separately one day. We decided we were psychic. Too bad we never finished it.

Jess Says: Only two chapters long, it's one of the greatest ideas for a fic and definitely an ode to readers of the BreeGirls as well as De and Kristin's solo fics.

11. An Even More Insane New Year (May 2002)
The Fellowship & co. return to Earth for a New Year's Eve costume ball. Aragorn dresses as a devil, and someone goes as Peter Pan.

De Says: Again, this could have been pretty cool. I liked Ian giving Aragorn love advice. That was funny.

Jess Says: Through Spring Break, Christmas, and Camp Walla-Walla, we were never able to get through the New Year with the Fellowship. I wish we would have!

12. Our Adventures With The Amazing Spider-Man (June 2002)
A Breegirls spin-off. De, Kristin, and Jess enter the world of Peter Parker & friends. De joins forces with the Green Goblin, and Kristin teams up with Peter to combat evil.

De Says: I reeeaaallyy liked this story. Both Kristin and I were going through a serious Spider-man phase; I wish we could have finished it!

Jess Says: We must have been the only girls to write an LOTR/Spider-man crossover, and it kicked ass. It got so far, too. It's definitely our most original spin-off.

13. Attack of Fear (September 2002)
The Breegirls gang + the Fellowship find themselves in a frightening haunted house. Can they handle the terror and suspense?

De Says: Every series needs some sort of horror-movie esque episode. This was ours. Once again, a cool idea that never grew wings.

Jess Says: I bet this fic could have been awesome (and complete) if it would have been made into a shorter fic rather than a traditional collab... or maybe Halloween instead? It was a really great idea nevertheless.

14. Two Become One (February 2003)
The lands of Middle-earth and Europe are merged as one... when Sauron takes over Russia, a war breaks out in the continent. Men and Elves must unite to protect the world from destruction.

De Says: All right, this was definitely our best unfinished story yet. The idea was pretty awesome, and unique, if I do say so myself. One day, I may just finish this myself.

Jess Says: This was my very, very favorite fic - finished or not! I'm still in love with the idea, I'm not yet over it. I loved everything about it and it definitely could have been our best serious fic.

15. Five More Crazy Years (February 2003)
It's the Five Year High School Reunion on planet Earth... Kristin has seven hobbit'y children... Jess's Elf-son is six years old... and De is still childless. Or is she?

De Says: This was a pretty basic attempt at a comeback. It had potential to be funny, but didn't really go anywhere. Surpriiise, surprise.

Jess Says: Random factoid: this was our last fic published in 2002 - the glory year for us.

16. The Truth Which Lies Within (December 2003)
Our final shot. The BreeGirls gang are back in Middle-earth, after two years of being apart from their adventures. Will things be the same? Or will their differences change their lives forever, as well as the fate of Middle-earth?

De Says: We wanted to have a go at a serious collab. I also really enjoyed this one. There was a fun little twist about Jess and Ian turning evil, which I really wanted to explore.

Jess Says: We always had hope that the BreeGirls could go on forever. As the opening A/N of this fic states, as well as Gandalf, "There never was much hope. Just a fool's hope, as I have been told."

Part III: Random and Slightly Off-Topic

17. Barmaids of Bree (January 2002)
The first story we ever wrote together, and the one that inspired the name "BreeGirls." Three barmaids in the Prancing Pony named Evee, Daffodil, and Lily experience an exhausting and interesting night.

De Says: Sometimes I forget that we even wrote this. It was written in one night, when we were bored and feeling silly. I guess it did spark the rest of them, in a very indirect way.

Jess Says: This is the only fic written before a was a part of the BreeGirls crew. I loved reading it for the first time and discovering what I was soon to be apart of.

18. A Finale From The Breegirls (September 2003)
A formal goodbye written by each one of the BreeGirls gang. A collection of memories and nostalgia, formed by five different pieces that each reflect upon the glory days and the eventual falling out.

De Says: I remember writing my part of this while I was a freshman at college, sitting in the garden at my school. It was hard to do. And reading Jess's chapter always makes me cry.

Jess Says: This was the only part of the BreeGirls collective that I actually wrote something, and I hated writing it. We needed the closure - all five of us, but trying to collect my thoughts while at school in my notebook - it was hard.

Also, there once existed one other story entitled Alternate Dimensions Suck, which was a BreeGirls spin-off in which Kristin was an evil empress in Mordor, and was engaging in open war with Gondor. It was one of the most fun things to write, but fanfiction.net took it down when it banned all the NC-17 rated stories. Unfortunately, no one had saved it in its entirety, and most of the story has been lost.

**Note: This list will get updated with links within the community as we re-post the collabs here**
me_in_disguise on September 4th, 2006 07:06 pm (UTC)
Which story?
Wasn't there a part of one story where Kristin and De were making fake article titles at night and someone came up with Elten John Next Rap singer? Unless I've confusing it with some other fanfiction which is a good possiblility... but if I'm not then look at this. http://www.aolmusicnewsblog.com/2006/08/26/elton-john-wants-to-get-his-hip-hop-on/
Amber: Shigurevampamber on September 18th, 2006 10:50 pm (UTC)
Wasn't there a vacation story written by De and her brother, too? They went to an amusement park or something, and I remember wanting to slap her brother for making the hobbits sound like total chickens. Or was that just a fantasy I dreamed (and if it was, why wasn't Frodo sitting next to me during said fantasy?)?
sirduke on September 19th, 2006 12:32 am (UTC)
No! You're right! The Fellowship Comes to Mountain Creek was the De & Dan collab. I think we chose not to include it since it wasn't a real "BreeGirls" fic, even though it was published under the name.
(Anonymous) on November 12th, 2006 01:20 am (UTC)
You guys are amazing writers. I didn't get an account until recently, so I never reviewed your stories in 2002. Either way, I wish y'all had continued writing some of the unfinished fics, but Breegirls will always be a favorite on my profile list 'cause y'all are amazing authors and amazing people. Rock on!
MBDTA's Mandi
Allegra Destinaallegradestina on November 22nd, 2006 04:56 pm (UTC)
So Happy To Read These Again.
I was still in high school and really sick with pneumonia when you guys first started to write your Fellowship adventures. Every time I laughed, I'd start coughing so hard I could hardly breath!

Ah, those were the days! You guys have no idea how happy gatting your e-mail made me.

Keep up the good work!

Veroism: Varda Elentari Elbereth Gilthonielveroism on April 30th, 2009 04:12 pm (UTC)
I have Alternate Dimensions Suck
That one was great of my angsty days
Good thing I saved it
I'll try to find a way to post it.

Also the other ffn stories seem to be lost :( too bad I didn't save any. You guys were great.